The People-Pleasing Habit

The People-Pleasing Habit

Think of a friend or acquaintance whom you’d consider to be a typical people pleaser. This individual is probably one of the nicest people you know. He or she is always ready to lend a hand. You can count on him or her to help you whenever the need arises. This person will gladly abandon his or her personal pursuits to cater to your wants and needs. Does this behavior sound disturbingly familiar to you in a personal way? Do you notice aspects of it in yourself? For example, when someone requests your help, do you immediately set aside whatever you’re working on and say “Sure!”? And here’s the bigger issue: do you regularly feel unhappy, stressed, and exhausted as a result of constantly putting other people’s priorities ahead of your own? If so, this blog is for you.

Saying no to people is one of the most important skills you can develop. It frees you to pursue your own interests, both personal and professional. To that end, it’ll boost your productivity, improve your relationships, and fill you with a sense of confident calm that may seem alien to you at this moment. The ability to say no is liberating. But developing the skill is often difficult. For most of us, requires undoing years of practice to the contrary. For some of us, learning to say no counteracts a lifetime of indoctrination from our parents, teachers, bosses, coworkers, and family members.

But it’s worth the effort. Once you possess the ability to say no with confidence and grace, and do so with regularity, you’ll notice changes in how others perceive you. They’ll have more respect for you; they’ll place a greater value on your time; and they’ll come to see you as a leader rather than a follower. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg......