Dealing with Hardships


DEALING WITH HARDSHIPS
Whatever you’re struggling with, here are ...tips to help.
Acknowledge and feel your feelings.
“Avoiding your negative emotion may feel like an effective stopgap measure, but in fact it simply postpones, and perhaps escalates and exacerbates, a flood of negative emotion sometime in the future,” said John Duffy, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book The Available Parent: Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens.
Ignoring your emotions is “like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. The only way to truly be free is to stop and face your emotions,” said Hibbert, who also specializes in women’s mental health, postpartum issues and parenting.
Still, you might worry that your emotions will be too overwhelming. While this can happen, people tend to get stuck because they’re actually not feeling their emotions, Hibbert said. “Instead, they think about, wallow in, and replay events. But they are not letting themselves really feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger, that is lurking within.”
Hibbert developed a method called TEARS – “Talking, Exercising, Artistic expression, Recording or writing experiences, and Sobbing” – to help individuals cope with their emotions, particularly with grief. “These five things can give us something to do when feeling overwhelmed by life stress.”
She also suggested clients set a time limit to feel their emotions every day. Even 15 minutes can help to process your emotions.
Don’t judge or rationalize away your feelings, said Joyce Marter, LCPC, a therapist and owner of the counseling practice Urban Balance. “Accept them as part of your journey.”

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